Good day, gentles.
This is Vlad, your brand-new shiny Kingdom Earl Marshal. Have you ever wanted to be a part of something awesome? I definitely have a deal for you. The kingdom is in need of a Western Regional Armored Combat Marshal. I can guarantee the hours are flexible, the pay is definitely negotiable and on a scale similar to mine. I understand your direct supervisors and upper management are unparalleled in the Known World and also snappy dressers. In fact, I hear the the boss is a highly Polished individual. Interested applicants should send applications to me, the Armored Combat Marshal and Their Majesties. The posting will be for at least 30 days or until the position is filled.
In other news, the single-handed thrusting tip experiment is officially over. Participants, please send final commentary to me.
In Service, Vladimir